Firstly I’d like to wish everyone a very Happy New Year and all the best for 2016! I don’t know about you, but I actually took a complete break over the holidays…that is to say, I didn’t write a thing (yes that is unusual as I like to really use some of my holidays to get ahead in my writing).
So now it’s back to it – regular life (whatever that means)! For me, that means back to writing and back to my day job which puts food on the table under my roof. Yesterday, I was handed a real lesson on focusing my energy. It’s like this – there’s something big going on at work. We’re due for a new Supreme Leader and three underlings are vying for the position. Now you have to understand that whoever the Supreme Leader is has a huge impact on my quality of life at work. So from that perspective, this means a great deal to me. Yesterday, as power plays were invoked and behind-the-scenes machinations occurred, I could only hope that one person in particular did NOT get the job as that would mean my work life would suffer negatively. Last evening, as the meeting was taking place to decide the fate of us all, it weighed on me and I couldn’t get it off my mind.
But low and behold, this morning when I woke up, I really didn’t care about the outcome. Overnight I had gained perspective. Because what’s really important to me is my writing. And it really chystalized something I’ve been working with for awhile – the situations I put myself in determine the focus of my energy. In other words, because I care about my work and think it’s important and I have a lot of responsibility, it becomes the focus of my energy when I am at work or there are big projects or when there are significant things going on. BUT, when I’m writing (mornings) or at my Writing Club, that becomes the focus of my energy.
In other words, a lot of my energy goes on work. And is that OK with me? The answer is a resounding NO! I want my focus and energy to go into my writing. Period. So my question now is – how do I make that so?
That is, do I have a choice? Do I need to take myself out of the work situation I have at the moment and do something I don’t care about in order to put food on the table so that I can focus on my writing? Will there always be big projects or big things going on that require sorting out that drain my energy? Or is there a way that I can do what I do such that no matter what happens at work I can still keep my energy and focus on my writing?
This little exercise has been really helpful. I realise now that I would have to change in order not to care about my work. And I would have to change in a way that would not be OK with me. That means I am just biding my time my current employment. I’ll let you know how it goes.